Random OneshotsYey
by Frederic Marile
Summary: Just a collection of oneshots. Random stuff. I write it when I think it.
1. Absolutely Perfect

**Hey guess what? I'm obsessed with Death Note at this point. You never would have guessed. Even thought I said guess what, which kind of implied that I didn't think you knew the answer anyway and-**

_**is shot**_

**Anyway…I've decided to combine all my weird anime oneshots and crap into one story, including my latest story titled I Notice. That will be chapter two of this, mostly because I have a good idea for this chapter.**

**There will be some pairagification, but just because shipping is awesome, okay?**

**Yep, I'm really Pepe the King Prawn.**

**Anyway, I don't own Death Note, blahbity blahbity blah…**

**:::::**

Light sat in a chair next to L. It was early in the morning, and Light had gotten a surprisingly decent amount of sleep last night, so he was feeling pretty good about himself. Yet he was, as previously mentioned, sitting next to L.

Now this wouldn't have been the case normally. Normally Light would be sitting as far away from the older man as possible while still being able to see a computer and type on it. But today-as well as for the last week and for probably a few weeks to come-he happened to be handcuffed to the world's most renowned detective for what L called safety reasons. But the handcuffs were starting to get really annoying at this point. _I mean, if L wants to make sure I don't go anywhere, he could just keep the cameras in our room and check them each night to make sure I haven't left,_ he guessed. But of course that would be too easy.

He also shuddered at that middle phrase-_our room._ He hated sharing a room with L. It wasn't that Light had sharing issues, he just didn't like sharing with a sugar-loving, histrionic, charlatan insomniac who couldn't not speak his mind. It was just creepy having to use the same toothpaste, comb, shower, and not to mention the same bed. And L snored.

L suddenly sat straight up and put his feet on the floor, a big thing for him as he usually sat in a crooked, hunched over style with his legs tucked up against his stomach. "Light, we're going to our room."

There was that phrase again. Light wanted to refuse, but he knew that application of this plan would end in him being dragged upstairs. So he sighed and stood up to follow L as the detective hurried with shocking energy to the suite.

As they approached, L turned around and stared at Light. "I'm going to…change, so I'll unlock the handcuffs. Just-don't go anywhere."

"Sure," Light muttered, holding out his wrist for L to take off the cuffs. After they were off, he slumped in an armchair and stared towards the door. When L called for him to look after a few minutes, Light turned his gaze at the detective and gaped.

L was wearing a _sweater vest and dress pants,_ as well as white gloves. He was also standing straight with what could only be described as a quarter-smile on his face.

"So?" he asked.

"Why are you wearing that?" Light demanded.

"I'd like to take us to breakfast," L explained with more of a spark to his voice than Light had ever heard. Light had no idea what he meant by "us", but shrugged off the thought. "Where exactly could we be going for you to dress like that?" he asked.

"To the Mente Ristoro Diner down the block," L explained. "It's Italian fine dining. We're not going Dutch either, I'm going to pay for everyone. Oh and…those clothes should be fine."

This was definitely something that would warrant pinching oneself to see if one was dreaming. The chances of this occasion lived right up there with the chances of…well, finding a notebook that killed the human whose name was written in it. _L_ was seriously dressing up fancy and inviting people to a restaurant and he was going to pay, too? Light didn't know what to say, but started with:

"Well, thank you very much, L. That's amazing of you. So…when will we leave?"

"As soon as I can find the others," L replied. "But where are they?"

"They're coming, too?" Light asked, betraying disappointment.

"I thought they would," L answered, narrowing his eyes. "But if you want, the task force doesn't have to come with us. For all I care, it can just be the three of us, or it can just be you and Misa, or Misa and me…or you and me. It doesn't matter to me."

"No, I'd like Misa to join us," Light decided, surprised at the words coming out of his own mouth. Since when did he care if Misa was around? Oh, that was right-he didn't want to pay for his own meal, but he really didn't want to be at a fancy diner alone with L. Now _that_ thought was simply scary.

So the two of them walked to Misa's suite and Light knocked on the door. "Hey, Misa," he greeted her when the door opened.

"Oh my gosh, Light! You're totally here!" she replied. " Did you come all the way here just to see me? That's my boyfriend, always-"

"Ryuuzaki wanted to invite us to breakfast," Light interrupted her.

"Oh! Well, are we going to go then?" Misa asked.

"It's a relatively elegant restaurant, L says," Light told her, noticing that she was wearing pink pajamas that could be considered modest in very few countries.

"Okay then," Misa agreed, leaving for her bedroom.

"Pity that she had to take that off," L murmured.

"Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking about!" Light yelled.

At that moment Misa returned shortly with a bright yellow party gown on. Light would have objected again, but then decided it was pretty, and Misa probably didn't have anything more fancy than that dress.

**:::::**

"I'd complain about this being a lousy date…" Misa grumbled from the side of the table opposite the men as she set down her glass of water, "but considering you actually want us to pay attention to you, I guess it's not a date, is it?"

"Not in a normal sense, no," L answered, looking up in thought. "But since I invited you guys, I guess you could say I'm taking you both out on a date."

"Ew, that's disgusting! You can't take two people on a date at the same time! That's too sick to even _think_ about!"

"Misa, just be calm," Light requested, leaning as close to her as the handcuffs would allow and taking her hands. L rolled his eyes.

"I should tell you again that this is all Italian food. The waiters and waitresses only speak Italian as well, so I'll just order for you."

"You can speak Italian?" Misa asked incredulously.

"Of course," L confirmed.

"That's so cool!" Misa gushed. L smiled.

"Waitress!" the detective called, and a slender woman in a slim white dress and a blue apron approached the group.

"Sì, i signori e la signora," she answered. "Farebbe lei ama ordinare?"

"Faremmo," L confirmed. "Amerei il pollo parmigiano sopra le patate di fetta. Le patate rosse, per favore."

"Approvare poi," the waitress murmured, jotting down his order on her notepad. "E lei, il signore?"

Light stared at her for a moment before L sighed and answered, "Amerebbe il tagliatelle con la salsa alla bolognese."

"What's wrong with you?" Light demanded, being immediately shushed by L.

"E per lei, manca?" the waitress asked, looking expectantly at Misa.

"Porterà il Pizzoccheri con le patate elevate al cubo, nessun formaggio o nessuna carne, ma nessun aglio extra e nessun saggio. E noi ciascuno potrebbe avere un bicchiere di Giulia di Friuli-Venezia?" L explained. Light and Misa glared at him.

"Come vecchio sono i suoi compagni?" the waitress asked.

"Sono entrambi venti," L told her.

The waitress eyed Light and Misa suspiciously. "Certo, il signore. Avrò che va bene con lei," the waitress agreed.

"Where exactly did you learn to speak Italian?" Light aksed.

"I've learned to speak almost everything," L replied. "I have to be able to communicate with people from all over the world."

"Now what was that last thing you ordered after Misa's meal? I noticed you paused," Light asked suspiciously.

"Just wine," L assured. "You don't have to get scared."

Light sighed. He wasn't fond of alcohol and frankly, he didn't like breaking the law. But he could only assume L had said to the waitress that they were of the legal age, so it wasn't like he could say otherwise or else they'd be thrown out and probably have the police called on them.

The waitress eventually returned with three dishes and three glasses. "Qui lei è," she said, handing them each a plate and glass. Light stared, frightened, at his glass. "Qualcosa offende, il signore?" she asked.

"No, siamo belli," L assured her, and she left.

"Did you notice most of the other people here are gone?" Misa asked the other two.

"Well, there _is_ supposed to be a storm soon," L agreed. "You'll love the food though."

L was absolutely right; the food was delicious. "How did you know this place was here, L?" Light asked. "I never noticed it."

"Well, I notice everything," L answered.

"By the way, the handcuffs are making it hard to eat, L," Light told the older man.

The detective looked pensively at him for a moment before sighing. "I suppose I can unlock them again," he conceded, taking out his key and unbinding the two men. "Off the topic, how is your wine?"

"Great," Misa laughed, her head swaying from side to side.

"Um…" Light hummed. "I haven't tried it yet."

"And why's that?" L asked, his eyes narrowed.

"Well, because-"

"You're scared, aren't you?" L asked.

"No, I'm just-"

"Try it," L commanded. "I brought you to an Italian restaurant, and I demand you drink wine."

Light stared at him. "Fine…" he grumbled, taking a sip of the red-purple liquid. It tasted almost like cough medicine syrup, but far smoother. "Oh, that's disgusting…" he announced as it slid down his throat.

"Keep drinking," L ordered. Light wondered why in the world L was forcing him to drink alcohol, but it was useless to argue.

"More people have left," Misa noted. "In fact, I think the restaurant is empty except for us."

"Oh, _is it?_" L asked, placing his chin in the bridge between his thumb and index finger. "I hope that isn't a problem."

"Okay, this is freaking me out," Light admitted, standing up and slamming his glass down on the table. "L, why are you acting so weird today?"

"No," L chuckled, making an open, welcoming gesture with his arms. "I'm just enjoying the company of a couple of friends at an elegant restaurant."

"Well, I like it," Misa giggled.

"Well, _I_ don't think I can take it," Light disagreed. "I don't like that you're trying to get us drunk and tired, L."

L frowned, his white sweater vest suddenly looking quite gray. "Fine, you can leave," he told him. Light knew immediately that this was a threat. Misa obviously wasn't going to leave, and if Light walked out, he could only imagine what would happen with L and Misa in his absence.

"I guess I'll stay," he decided. "I'm not completely sick of you yet."

Outside it was raining hard. Light loved the rain; it soothed him, especially the sound of it hitting the window. The sky was getting darker, but that was fine. "I'm surprised," Misa murmured. "It's winter, and yet it's only raining. I'd think with the weather we've _been_ having that soccer balls could be falling from the sky."

But the rain was what Light liked the best. "Sorry about what I said earlier," he said to L peacefully.

"Don't worry about it, Light," L acknowledged him. "I just want you guys to be happy."

Light continued staring out the window. Maybe dining with his obsessed not-actually-girlfriend and his archenemy detective wasn't such a bad thing. Normally thinking that sentence would make Light question whether to see a mental ward, but right now was perfect.

Absolutely perfect.


	2. I Notice

I notice many, many things.

People tend not to realize it, but I suppose I don't let on quite as much as I know. Sure, I'm a detective…the three most famous detectives in the world, to be perfectly clear-but people still see me as…

What's the word.

Clueless.

I think that is it. I _think_.

Which I can only assume means that it is correct.

As I said before, I notice things.

I notice that the task force doesn't like me. No. It is not an opinion. It is a fact. It can be proven true or false. I may ask the task force if they like me. They will say no. That is not up for discussion. I have evidence that points to the idea that they would reply negatively.

I notice that the days do not change. I notice that every day ends in night, and every night ends in day. Things remain the same. But that is almost common knowledge. Whenever there is a change, it is permanent.

I notice that whenever there is a killing, the public is just as shocked as the first time it happened.

I notice that Christmas is coming.

I notice that nobody cares.

I notice that Light has never been terribly fond of Christmas.

I notice that the task force is excited to be given a break for the holiday. I suppose it's required that I give them a vacation, but I notice that all play and no work makes Kira an eager killer.

I notice that Light is especially excited to leave.

Could that be a sign that he wants to be as far away from me and my suspicions as possible, I wonder.

I notice he doesn't realize that he is walking on a landmine. Anything he says or does could spark an explosion.

I notice he acts more like a killer every day.

I notice the smell of hot chocolate wading through the air.

I notice I am not thinking about the case anymore. I notice I am sitting at my desk doing absolutely nothing.

Is it okay to waste any time, I wonder.

I notice that I can hear voices upstairs. Specifically Miss Amane's.

I notice that Miss Amane is equally excited for Christmas. She probably plans to spend the holidays with Light. When she leaves it will be a grace to all of us.

I notice my thoughts are becoming increasingly unattached and non sequitur.

I notice that I do not care. I wonder where everybody has got to. Maybe everyone is upstairs.

I notice nobody is down here. I am alone.

I notice that.

Do people notice it when I notice things?


End file.
